Apr 21
8
“Get to the Heart of the Matter”–Part Three–A
Having reached the ripe old age of 88, some might expect I’m not anxious to pass from life unto death.
Some might even suspect that fear of death is the prime motivator for writing a series on reverse aging, but …if we step back into part two for just a quick glance, what got me beyond fearing death was not finding a purpose worth dying for, but finding a purpose worth living for, a magnificent obsession, if you will.
There were actually a series of 3 catalysts, widely separated, causing explosions in the laboratory of my life within and each of which rearranged things significantly and put me on the path I call eternal life NOW.
The first catalyst was a panic attack from overdosing on caffeine and Benzedrine to overcome the effects of sleep deprivation and drinking too much alcohol, better known as a severe hangover.
I was afraid I was literally slipping over the edge into insanity after rapidly drinking two pots of coffee and taking two Benzedrine tablets.
At the time, I was an avowed Agnostic …someone has quipped that an Agnostic is the Greek equivalent to the Latin, Ignoramus – both simply mean you don’t know.
I had armed myself with all sorts of intellectual arguments to prove that such a stance was highly intelligent and all the foregoing makes for a meaningful backdrop to demonstrate the seemingly incongruent significance of what I did to overcome the panic attack.
What I did could even be called a direct contradiction, a denial to the agnosticism in which I thought I so thoroughly believed!
I yelled, “Jesus, if you’re real, take over my life, I need help!” …a rather strange thing to do for somebody that had rejected all religion on the philosophical basis that it’s impossible to know and, thus not too smart to believe otherwise.
However, desperately calling upon Jesus to take over my life, proved to be the perfect antidote to BOTH the hangover AND the ridiculous remedy of Benzedrine and caffeine I used to overcome it; as I now felt blanketed by an overwhelming sense of peace and purpose.
As best as I can pinpoint it, this first catalyst took place in 1957 …9 years prior to the 2nd catalyst described in the previous article (Part Two) in the series, that of being awakened to an unconscious fear of death by the words and actions of MLK, Jr. in Chicago.
The reason it took 9 years to get to that second catalyst was because within about six weeks after I yelled for Jesus to take over my life, and was overtaken by a deep sense of peace and purpose, I started thinking I needed to learn more about Jesus historically and what better place to discover that than in a Christian church?
It would be many years before I would learn from Jesus himself that I had been seduced into referring to myself as a Christian and had become indoctrinated with all sorts of things that were in conflict with the most dramatic incident in my life to that point – Jesus alive within me and becoming my closest friend and confidante.
Next up, in Part Three – B, I will share the reason I came to believe Christianity is purposeful obfuscation, that is, deliberately disseminated bullshit, for the purpose of confusing, distracting and leading humanity away from what Jesus said–is saying right now, was his primary purpose for becoming a man.
In Freedom,
Brad