Apr 14
3
Integration of the Mind – Part Nine
Believe it or not, Change is Inevitable
Vilified by Christians, hailed by Atheists; the observer of change.
“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” -Charles Darwin
If old Charlie was correct, then change should be embraced and not resisted; yet it is considered a fact by some that an overwhelming majority of people on this planet resist change.
In politics, those who resist change the most are considered to be conservative. Does this mean that liberals are better than conservatives?
An interesting point of view, but where our view becomes cloudy is when we see that some liberals resist change just as much as conservatives …they just hang onto things which are more popular among their political peers who happen to agree with their “liberal” point of view.
Is it possible to say, from all the foregoing, if it has any value to you, that the path to truth may not be attaching labels to anything or anyone? If so, it may be of extreme value to ask the following: “How many of the conclusions (fixed ideas, judgments, prejudices, call them what I will) come from the labels I have believed, but which have no validity?
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What if we could see our judgments.
A guy who is currently popular with author Brad Cullen and publisher Ryan Bruce is Dain Heer who, along with his partner, Gary Douglas, share many verbal tools that are quite helpful in overcoming a challenge that almost all human beings have in common, but wish we didn’t …being judgmental.
Since change is inevitable, why, I ask, don’t we speed along toward making changes that will help us? …overcoming being judgmental is high on my list, for me. Dain Heer claims that if we repeat a phrase – every time we catch ourselves judging someone and keep repeating it until the feeling that accompanies the negative feeling abates, the judgment disappears.
Ryan and I have been practicing this and we can tell you that in our experience it is a powerful tool for us. Here’s the phrase: “Interesting point of view, I have this point of view.”
As with so many other things that get results, I cannot explain why or even how it works …only that it does and relatively quickly.
It may be useful to share how this has helped me get over a habit …that of being angry at another person and then being angry at myself for being angry. I figure if I admit to something that sounds so silly, maybe it will help others who do the same thing, but are in denial about the habit, get over it as well.v
Please get some new jokes!!!!!
I have a tendency to be redundant, which comes as no surprise to those who have been reading Brad Cullen books and articles ever since he was born in the first novel I wrote back in the year 2000.
Sometimes my publishing side kick, Ryan Bruce, admits to being more than a little tired of some of my not-so-funny, but often repeated attempts at humor. Okay, I admit it, doing so is just a bad habit (period).
Here’s an example, I often (we’re talking regularly here) answer the banal greeting “how are you?” with: “If I was any better I’d be frightening!” Hey, it still gets a laugh from telephone salespeople and receptionists, but everyone else who has heard it before, is SICK of it.
It’s a crappy habit …wait a minute that’s a judgment too isn’t it? Well then, “Interesting point of view, I have this point of view.”
Avoid developing this habit.
The other night I felt deeply hurt when I asked my beloved an honest question: She answered sarcastically: “You know the answer to that, why are you always asking that? Give it a break!”
In other words, she was reacting to what she thought I was just repeating over and over and thus had missed my intent.
My training in marital counseling, although by “osmosis,” during my many years of business and spiritual partnership with a psychiatrist, taught me not only to recognize negative patterns in personal interactions, but how to help couples interrupt cycles of hostility that, if left alone would be the inevitable cause of destroying the relationship.
With all of my acquired wisdom for helping others …I couldn’t shake the anger …which I recognized (for all the good it was doing) that the anger was just a mask for feeling hurt.
This aroused feelings that I was being stupid and foolish as well. I actually went outside for a moment while attempting to deal with the mental chaos that was going on. “What now?” I asked aloud, as I walked around in circles on my back lawn. Perhaps you are agreeing with me, by now, that I really was being stupid, eh?
Get to know Justin Ipov, he's very helpful in times of stress.
“Interesting point of view, I have this point of view.” Again, I have not a clue as to why it worked, but after several repetitions – the heavy feelings of anger at her, me, the self-judgment related to the stupidity of being caught in an emotional trap that I knew, intellectually, which didn’t matter one whit, GONE …as if magically!
Will it work for you? How would I know? How will you know unless you are willing to try it?
I just asked if I was on the right track for some of you …and the answer I received was to remember the entire process – beginning with what Ryan and I refer to as our favorite “pattern interrupt.” Asking our (yours and our) SPIRIT-PARENT, “What now?”
Then, after listening and awaiting an answer: “Interesting point of view, I have this point of view” came into my consciousness …and I kept repeating it UNTIL, all of a sudden, I had no feelings except gratitude and happiness. I’m also supposed to share that all this emotional/mental turmoil was within me – she had no idea what her casual remark had triggered …ALL WITHIN ME.
Granted, in the past, I would have engaged the person who triggered the hurt feelings and would have got involved in an exchange of words that would have led to a huge fight and the ensuing hours, if not days, of having to get over all the additional hurt feelings on both sides …an utter waste of time and so easily overcome by something that seems ridiculous, at least to me:
“Interesting point of view, I have that point of view.”
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More redundancy: You may ask, “how does it work?” and my answer is: “quite well.”
That’s it for now,
bc
P.S. I’m asking what does all this have to do with our attempt to more effectively integrate the different part of our minds? …that is, get them into agreement with the overlay of SPIRIT in control. That’s my purpose …what’s yours? We’ll look at some other useful questions next …keeping in mind that questions tend to empower or open doors for us, while answers (conclusions) tend to disempower or close doors. A-ha, interesting point of view, I have this point of view.