Sep 19
11
How To Get In The Way of Relationships.
LABELS, NAMES AND OTHER TERMS AND WORDS GET IN THE WAY OF COMMUNICATION AND RELATIONSHIPS …Please let the foregoing soak in BEFORE you read any further.
The reason for this is also the basis for the BCA small group meeting format and the simple rules, to which we agree so that we can expand our individual points of view, without getting into meaningless debate that keeps us from listening to one another proactively and understanding one another rather than going to war.
This is the reason that some communication experts insist that ALL names and labels are emotional triggers that interfere with communication because they mean too many different things to too many different people to communicate anything meaningful to anyone.
The following paragraph is intended to funnel you into a realization of the truth of the opening paragraph above …can you overcome your negative reactions to the words used? Or will you be so turned off that you think you cannot gain anything from reading any further – because it comes from a different religious or anti-religious perspective than that which is comfortable for you?
WHAT IF THE “Beneficent Is,” “God,” “Higher Power,” “Universe,” (by whatever other title or name) is offering you an intimate, loving relationship with Herself/Himself/Itself? (Whichever construct appeals to you, for the moment, UNTIL you arrive at whatever you know to be the truth for you and UNTIL you change your mind again).
Can you consider the “WHAT IF” question, or did the language upset you to the point that you don’t even want to engage the question in any way that is meaningful to you?
The BCA small group meeting “rule,” to help anyone avoid arguing and get into “proactive listening” is to commit in advance to practice using a simple mental/emotional “tool” whenever tempted to argue about somebody else’s point of view in a small group setting.
Over and over say this until you believe it: “That’s an interesting point of view, would you mind telling me what brought you to the point of seeing things that way in order to help me understand it better?”
If you’re willing to go that far, perhaps you’re also ready to read the following article without allowing your own preconceived ideas about what the names and terms mean to you – there’s even some scientific backing to the content.