Mar 17
9
At Which Point of Departure
You may need some help choosing your path…Ask.
If I’m questioning the validity of my current journey I may want to look at what was the real point of my departure, what was the motivation for my leaving the old path to get onto the new one?
In other words, if the question I ask is, how did I get here and it leads me to a review of the steps along the current path only, have I learned anything of value?
This bit of musing brought me to a HOLY MACKEREL point of awareness. No wonder I have repeated the same failures over and over!
This is rather easy to look at when being critical of somebody else’s behavior; the task is a bit more daunting when the focus is on my own life.
Believing deeply in the concept of forgiving others and the need to forgive myself – I don’t spend a whole lot of time feeling guilty for some of my past foibles; I know I’m forgiven by who/whatever created me and I also know that the joy of being forgiven began as I began to release everyone from my judgment of their wrongs, whether perceived or actual, against me.
Missing one piece can immobilize you.
The final piece of that puzzle fell into place when I was able to forgive them even if they hadn’t forgiven me. In other words, when I realized I was being judged by them, they are forgiven because they don’t understand. I’m not responsible for what they say, think or do, only for me. “Forgive them for they know not what they do” weighs heavily upon my consciousness.
Back now, to the heavier task at hand, what was the motivation behind various decisions to seemingly change paths – “seemingly change,” only because it almost always was the continuation of the same old path with some new shoes that caused blisters, the pain of which caused me to NOT look at why I was wearing new shoes.
If I’m being a bit obscure with the metaphor of “new shoes,” think new jobs, new businesses, new wives, new friends, often without resolving the issues of the motivation for leaving the old behind.
After the newness wore off, the shoes broken in sufficiently to no longer cause blisters –the awareness would come upon me that the current shoes were no better or even inferior to the old.
I should be terrified, I suppose, at finally coming to the point of looking at my own contribution to the failure of relationships, but and yet again, I forgive and am forgiven. My only regret is taking so long to wake up!
Sometimes distractions are in red. But they all can cause a disconnect.
What now? MOST CERTAINLY NOT MERELY A REVERIE OF THE PAST! Not even a review of the various steps or, perhaps, better said, missteps along the path.
Since my chosen purpose in this particular lifetime (hmm, are there others?) is to strive to be in a continual state of awareness of my connection with BWOTON and share with others what that means for me as it is revealed, it is clear to me, at this moment, that the missteps along the pathway were caused by the breaks in that awareness (period).
While forgiveness is a big issue and an integral part of that connection; when forgiveness becomes routine or part of a ritual that, in and of itself, is a break in the connection causing the missteps, could it be the primary point of departure?
BC